John Clark Pro Se Blog Actor, Producer & Writer

MD-80 checklist-going home

Posted in My Family and Me

January 20, 2010.

I wonder if this is part of Delta pilot training? Is this on a simulator?

Poor old Capt. Benjy, having to struggle with the responsibilty of keeping his sister’s, my youngest daughter’s, marriage to a Cuban-American (fine with me, by the way, hope he’s not a dissident) last August 1st. secret from me, her father.

Swearing the entire family members and their friends to secrecy while dancing at Liam Neeson’s farm upstate NY (disguised as "Dance Party of the Century".)  Well, Facebook and the attraction of marriage giftlists, and the internet, means that those things don’t stay secret for very long.  Meanwhile, I’d like to think that Annabel might have liked to have had her father present to proudly give her away.  Tradition. Blessing the marriage, that sort of thing.  Guess not.  Too bad for both of us, she’ll discover in time.  Meanwhile, for the benefit of passengers, we need to understand that Captains’ minds are sometimes in the cockpit of their home lives, but not in the left seat.

MD-80 CHECKLIST, arrival:

TAXI
1. Auto brakes…………………………………………….OFF
2. Spoilers…………………………………………………RETRD
3. Radar…………………………………………………..OFF
4. Wing heaters……………………………………………SET
5. Ignition………………………………………………….OFF
6. Check list completed to apron
7. APU…………………………………………………….AS REQD
8. Flaps & slats…………………………………………….UP & RETRD
9. Checklist completed
PARKING
1. Parking brakes………………………………………..ON & CHKD
2. Seat belts switch………………………………………OFF
3. Ice protection…………………………………………OFF
4. Fuel pumps……………………………………………SET
5. IRS……………………………………………………SET
6. Anti-collision light…………………………………….OFF
7. Peneumatic crossfeed…………………………………OPEN
8. Air conditioning……………………………………….SET
9. Lights…………………………………………………AS REQD
10. Hydraulic pumps…………………………………….SET
11. Engine oil quantity…………………………………..CHKD
12. Aircraft log/NOTOC………………………………….SIGNED/STORED
13. Fuelling info (as required)……………………………PERFORMED
14. Emergency light switch………………………………OFF
15. Checklist completed

GOING HOME ON MOTORBIKE
1.  Eyes on road……………………………………………..…ON & CHKD
2.  Call Mom for orders……..…………..……..…………AS REQD
3.  Call Step-Dad (Brandon Maggart) for advice…AS REQD
4.  Get orders from wife………….……………………….AS REQD
5.  Check Facebook……………………..…….……..……..AS REQD
6.  Check Mom’s killer lawyer Emily Edelman….AS REQD
7.  Check leaks to Dad’s blog……….….…………..…..OPEN
8.  Re-check Facebook wedding pictures.….…….PENDING
9.  Check control of his grandchildren..….…..….WILLCO
10.  Say Hi to Liam…………………………………………..PENDING
11.  Mental logbook…………………………………SIGNED/STORED
12.  ?!!%?/#%*&$$$?…(|:>(……………………CALL AMBULANCE