What do the names Weiner, Spitzer, Edwards, Schwarzenegger, Clinton, Gingrich, Strauss-Kahn, Woods, Boehner, Craig – the list goes on and on – what do they have in common? Why, an inability to keep their trousers zipped. Their stories detail the circumstances where men have lost sexual boundaries to the detriment of assorted reputations, and in some cases jobs and marriages. And to the intense glee of the media and the public in this most hypocritical of all societies.
And all they were doing was displaying an inability to control what Bernard Shaw dubbed the “Life Force”. Mark Twain wrote “The very thought of it excites him; opportunity sets him wild; in this state he will risk life, reputation, everything … to make good that opportunity and ride it to the overwhelming climax.”
Well, I have a solution to this, a solution guaranteed to curb this kind of uncontrolled behavior.
In Topanga, where I used to live, there existed the most wonderful of hangouts, a quite famous nudist resort that went by the name Elysium Fields. It was created back in the sixties by a Life Magazine photographer named Ed Lange, in memory of his mother. I happened upon it when driving my kids to their first day of the new school term, and being asked to pick up some children at an address off the Canyon road. Imagine my shock when I drove through the gates on to the site, and was greeted by a lovely naked lady, 2 dressed kids in tow, stepping out of a trailer. I then looked around, and noticed a few equally naked people staking out claims on the grass, spreading their towels, and eying the nearby swimming pool, for it was going to be a hot day.
As I drove away, I muttered to myself that this was something to really think about. Should I join a movement to get the place closed down? Or maybe consider taking out membership? Curiosity and common sense prevailed, and it was the latter course I took. I remained a member until, after Ed’s death, there was a power struggle with his daughters, who chose to sell the entire estate to the highest bidder, a hotel magnate, I believe, his sole domain.
It was there I met a new English friend, Noel Pugh, an illustrator and sketch artist, who drew the logo for me that you see above. He lived in a cabin by the pool. I need to state that in all the years I went there, never did I see a single case of inappropriate behavior. No exhibitionistic displays, or any man with an erection. On one occasion I took a friend as a guest, a noted publisher of pornography, who on leaving said to me that he would never go again, because in his opinion, the place was anti-sex, and one big turnoff. It has a strange effect – compulsive urges just seem to disappear.
I frequently took my kids, and my wife, and truly believe that it gave all of us a broader and healthier outlook on life.
The likes of those men above, and many more, carry a huge burden. Unable to cope with power conflicts going up against their inner demons, they feel an urge to go one step further, which might be fine, except it comes at the expense of others. I guarantee that a sentence of a few weeks’ confinement at a nudist resort would cure them forever. The trouble is, there are few such places left. Perhaps because they impose a threat to the fashion industry, the entertainment industry, the advertising industry, TV shows like TMZ, Entertainment Tonight and the Playboy Channel, and tabloids like the National Enquirer and Daily Mail. Anti-American, but there it is.