Dear Mr. Clark,
I apologize for inserting myself into your day but I am very touched by your words, situation and attempt to clarify events in your life. I am moved to tears by your struggles with the judicial system, the broadcaster’s, and the individuals in your life.
As an ex-Jehovah’s Witness, a divorcee, and fellow human being I am qualified to stand alongside you in support of your standing up for the truth of what happened, in your opinion, and for your personal integrity. I do not know the truth about anything in life but I was also once under that dark fog when raised a JW…
I thank you for sharing your story with the world. I have to remind myself several times a week of that phrase, “what does not kill me will make me stronger,” and I’ve even lately begun to say, when faced with difficult times…”bring it on”…keep the faith brother because we need you and more like you.
Thank you and all of the best! -Sam
Your “ex-Jehovah’s Witness” comment resonated for me, with its suggestion of searing memories, some of which I got to hear from Nicolette, about what this could do to a person who was “exed” – if they let you be, that is, after the (always) male Elders get through with you.
Lord only knows why it took until now for your post on litigation from January to come up in my aggregator, but I read it and was extremely impressed by its clarity. I rarely see this kind of material presented in this way!
I think you’re exactly right — there will be more, many more, situations where frustrated men at the end of their rope attempt or actually commit public suicide.
The first thing I thought about when I heard the news of the train wreck was that the guy was most likely a divorced dad. I’ve been an advocate and supporter of men’s issues since 1999, and the stories, when you hear them, are almost identical.
A few years back, there was a situation here in Arizona where a man shot several people, including his ex-wife and himself. Shortly thereafter, the Arizona Daily Star in Tucson published the full text of a letter he’d posted shortly before the incident, and it read like any of dozens of e-malis I’d had from frustrated divorced men in the same boat. So while the media was wringing its public hands wondering why such a thing could happen, I knew exactly why. I sent a letter to the Editor of the AZ Star providing a detailed explanation, and they never printed it.
In those days nobody wanted to hear that kind of thing. Men are pigs, period. End of discussion.
Around the same time I had a fairly public go-round with the Regent of Stanford University, who felt it was just fine and dandy that one of the professors at his school would use her title and position to promote hate, (she was blaming all men for all of the domestic violence extant in the SF Chronicle) and felt entirely comfortable calling me an uneducated idiot for suggesting the woman’s actions were inappropriate. Had it been any other subject, she would have been immediately fired, since it was an inappropriate act.
Fortunately for all of us, things have begun to change. It’s slow, but they are changing. Blogs like yours are making a difference.
Oddly enough, even though the mainstream media has ignored and/or vilified me in the past, when I’ve been talking to people in my community, or even on my discussion groups, I’ve always found that there is a tremendous number of people — men and women both — who are disgusted and angry with a legal system that just seems like something out of Alice in Wonderland. So blogs are giving those people the chance to speak out. I’m encouraged by this, and can begin to hope that my (as of this moment), unmarried 26-year-old son may not have to go through what so many others have gone through in the past ten or twenty years.
Keep up the good fight! -TW
Thank you, and just to say that it’s messages like this that keeps me going.
TW’s note refers to my comments at the end of “The Plight of the Pro se” topic on the left.
I was reading your blog because I was curious about “your side” of the story regarding your divorce.
An open marriage I can see and why didn’t you just leave it at that when you explained in your blog? The woman you had your son with was attractive to you, and nature took it’s course. That I was ready to believe and can actually see (especially if you really thought your wife was having affairs).
You lost me when you started with the “you did it to save Nicolette’s life”. So you impregnate a woman that’s obviously emotionally distraught because somehow you deem that having another life will “save” her???? That’s far more bizarre than any Hollywood open marriage story. If Lynn’s side is true-you were a rat for getting another woman pregnant. Not cool. If what you’re saying about an open marriage is true-just leave it at that. All the impregnanting a woman to save her life sounds so ridiculous. Well, ridiculous enough for me to actually write you about it.
I’m only commenting because I figured it was OK since you have an open blog and an e-mail.
No offense or good or bad judgements intended. I don’t expect you to read this and certainly don’t expect a response. Just giving my opinion on what has almost become public domain (your impregnating another woman). – Layla
Laila, I only ask that you read all of this. If you did, I don’t think you could reach that conclusion. See above about the life of an ex Jehovah’s Witness.
I don’t intend for this to be a site that favors males over females, but having been the victim of, now, three women, the mothers of all of my children, I can say “Been there, done that”, and to the extent that your views have a distinctly anti-male bias which can lead to other things, I hope you will read my piece on the subject of alienation (see Alienation under the Topic “A SPACE FOR REFLECTION”).
It is a sad comment on today’s society that such lines are drawn, and your comments as it effects me, bolstered by what you may have read in the media, or watched on television, do not surprise me.
To turn things around is like trying to turn a 200,000 ton tanker around in the English Channel, but my efforts, not just for myself, but others too, will continue. Thanks for writing.